You’re up. Can’t sleep again? That sucks.
I’ve been meaning to talk to you about some stuff.
You said I’m worthless. And it really got to me. I’ve been feeling down for several years. And I know you’re repeating what others told me, or showed me through their treatment of me. But it hurts more coming from you.
You also made me scared of failure. I know I’m not doing great right now. My life’s not where I want it to be. But I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to figure it out. Can’t you see that? I deserve some credit. Stop looking down on me because I failed. It happens to everyone.
And when you look at me, you only see what you think I should look like. You’ve told me you don’t like what’s there. And normally, I would say I don’t care; that there’s more to life than looks. But the truth is, I do care. It gets to me. You’re society wrapped up into one person, with unrealistic standards, and I’m tired of trying to make you think I’m pretty.
You also weren’t really there for me when people rejected me for superficial reasons. For God knows what reasons. Rejection happens. In all aspects of life. And the last thing I need is for you to act like I could have stopped it somehow. I’m not perfect. I’m not going to be everybody’s everything. It’s impossible.
I needed to tell you these things because you’ve been wrong about me. So I’m taking control here and you’re no longer the voice inside my mind. You’re no longer the narrator of my life.